Friday, 3/29/02: The Legal Intrigue Begins

So, hey, whomever mailed me the package of legal documents: Thanks! That's some good stuff. Who are you?

I opened my mailbox the other day and found a fat, plain brown envelope with no return address. Inside the envelope were a set of excellent and interesting legal documents. There was no note, no name, nothing. Within the documents, a couple of lines here and there were underlined in purple felt tip pen, but that was it. The documents looked like they had been put together by a smart lawyer who knows a thing or two about public nuisance and class action suits. I could tell by the way the documents were ordered, logically one after another, that my lawyer friend clearly knew what she was doing.

To my non-lawyer eye, these documents looked like the beginnings of a solid and legitimate case against honkers or the city and state agencies who are not enforcing the law against honkers or the automobile manufacturers who enable the honkers. I have no idea, specifically, how such a case would be put together or prosecuted. But it's clear from the documents that the horn-blasting that is going on in front of our houses and sidewalks every day is illegal. And that lesser public nuisance cases have been fought, won and enforced by various New York State and City courts and agencies. If there are any lawyers out there who might be interested in working on a case like this, get in touch.

The honku media firestorm has gone international. A Canadian radio program called As it Happens on CBC did a really nice story. The best part is that they pulled some of the honku that folks have written here on the site and read them on the air. So, congrats. Some of you are now broadcast poets. The second best part was the steady 30-seconds of raw New York City street noise. Oddly, listening to it made my blood pressure rise while at the same time giving me a warm feeling of, "Ahhh... Home." The whole radio piece is on the web if you want to hear it. I also felt it was time to add a special section to the site to house all of this media that's being generated.

After it aired we got a ton of new Canadian and Los Angeles honku written in the Lamp Post (the show must be broadcast in California as well). The main theme from Canada was this: The only honking we've got up here comes out of our geese. Here's my favorite Canadian contribution so far:

noisy SUVs
driven by very rich owners
Small genitals all.
-- Rob

Though the above does not necessarily illustrate it, you can tell from the Canuck's wise and knowing honku that they must spend a certain amount of time each week snickering to themselves as they look down at us here in the States. Half the time we must look completely insane to them. The other half, I don't know -- it probably looks like we're having a really great party and they're not invited.

Reading their serene yet gloating honku got me thinking: If the cheap oil ever runs dry down here and the American Way of Life comes to a grinding, screeching to a halt (i.e. It's no longer practical to haul your SUV out of the driveway and zip over to the mall for fried meat and a new pair of Reebok's), these Canadians better lock down their borders and throw away the keys. Because we're gonna be emptying our bank accounts, hopping into our trucks and heading north just as fast as we can. Sites will be set on cheap, globally warmed land and quaint towns and villages that were built for humans rather than for cars. You heard it here first. Time Magazine trend story, summer 2008: The great northern migration.

OK. Now that I've scared away the Canadians, let's get down to business and welcome Alice LeBlanc. She is the new Manhattan Chair of I'm Brooklyn Chair. If anyone else wants a chair and some letterhead or lamppost taping tips, let me know.

-- Aaron