OK, since the "Finish That Honku!" contest was such a smashing
success -- people came up with some truly
inspired new honku -- I've got a new one. It's called "Boil
Boil it Down! works like this: Take the raw concepts and material
below, chip, whittle and boil
them down until a clever, efficient and poetic 17-syllable honku reveals
itself to you...
man with flag waving from his antenna
if you really loved america so much
you'd trade that in for a fucking hyundai
able to apply lipstick
talk on cellphone
clean child's face
in a single bound
onto busy freeway
dale earnhardt jr.
you've got nothing on her
accident on the other side of the freeway
slows down traffic on this side
guaranteed every time, like some demented new law of thermodynamics
since i had to wait behind these jerks for 30 minutes anyway
i may as well take my sweet time
gawking at the accident
when it comes my turn
up the National Arctic Wildlife Refuge for oil drilling
So we can keep driving our GMC Yukon Denalis
Up the rugged mountain like we see in the ads
To watch Alaskan glaciers melt at record speed
Will this vehicle double as a boat?
way, as with the previous contest, if your honku is used in the book and
you give me your mailing address, I will send you a copy of the book when
it comes out.
I've been doing work at this organization called Transportation
Alternatives. TA advocates for pedestrians and cyclists and pushes
for sensible transportation policies. I wrote a letter to the Mayor's
office on TA stationary thanking them for initiating their Silent
Night anti-noise initiative and offering whatever help and advice
I could provide. Amazingly, Vincent LaPadula, senior advisor to Mayor
Bloomberg, called back and scheduled a meeting.
I'm not sure what may come of the meeting. But they mentioned this interesting
factoid: Of the 97,000 calls that the Mayor's Quality of Life hotline
received last year, 93,000 were for noise issues. When you consider that
it takes about 6,000 votes to elect your average Brooklyn City Councilmember,
93,000 seems like a lot.
poster from Bill Maher's new book: